Aubrey
Welsh
What's New - 17 March 2026
Ian von Memerty's 'self-deliverance'
Goodness Me!
Ian's self-deliverance towards the end of February 2026 has certainly got South Africa talking. And it is for this reason that I applaud him. We must discuss, debate, argue, agree—the simple idea of making what is known as an 'end-of-life' choice.
Because it is a choice.
Whilst there have been significant changes in legislation over the decades with regard to those who are terminally ill and who have less than six months to live, there is a large group of people who do not fit neatly into those requirements. This is why we are championing society to talk about death and dying.
In my case, and like Ian, I am relatively healthy (although I have over the past two years been dealing with very late stage colon cancer). But, unlike Ian, I have not had employment or financial difficulty and I cannot agree with his claiming this as a 'reason' for his decision. My decision is based on my belief that I have had 'a completed life'.
Auckland Art Gallery
Death Cafe - Auckland
For some time now, I have been attending these monthly events at the Auckland Art Gallery - simply to engage in discussion about aging and dying - with people who are interested in widening our understanding of dying.
They do not focus on death itself and no attendees (as far as I'm aware) are proponents of suicide. In fact, most chat is around living more effectively and being respectful and supportive of those around us who are experiencing difficulty in their later lives.
Death Cafe is a global institution - if you're interested, look for one near you.
Ian von Memerty
During my performing artist career, I was utterly enthralled with the talent of Ian von Memerty, a multi-talented performer and a thoroughly all-round gentleman.
I was thus quite surprised to discover that he, too, was considering an end-of-life choice. It was surprising in the sense that I knew he had a wife and children and was in a very different position when compared to me.
From late 2025 until Feb 2026, Ian chronicled his thoughts and decisions in "Dying for a Better Life".
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https://www.facebook.com/search/top?q=ian%20von%20memerty
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He gave me permission to provide a link here but sadly his main FB page seems to have been deleted or is not available.
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Ian von Memerty passed away at the age of 61 in Johannesburg in the early hours of 23 February 2026. RIP Ian.
Ian von Memerty
Thoughts on Ian's passing ...
During my brief exchange with Ian prior to his passing, I shared with him my own reasons for considering ending my life i.e. having had 'a completed life'.
Ian's reasons included a lack of employment and associated income which would result in his becoming 'poor' and thus not able to take care of himself and his family. I disagree with this reasoning, arguing that I do not believe that these are 'acceptable' reasons for ending one's life.
Yet I do understand that many people have not prepared financially for post-employment life and feel the financial constraints very keenly. I also disagree with his use of the term 'self-deliverance'. I can understand why he chose it but I do not feel comfortable using that phrase for my own actions. We need to let the lawyers and medical fraternity create the best definition for our decision and processes.