2023 Summary | My Site

Sometime between the years 2019 and 2021, I made the decision to prepare for my own end-of-life choice. I was in the middle of writing my memoir which includes a consideration of why I believe my life to be complete. My mother was nearing the end of her life and I was spending as much time with her in Durban as I could. She passed away on 8 December 2022 and I became the only living member of our nuclear family. This personal diary records the approach to my end-of-life decision and will be updated frequently.

Monday 18 December

This first entry covers the year 2023 and sets the scene for future entries. For me, this was a tumultous year as I began my series of farewells and goodbyes to all the people who have been a part of my life. It began with what I called my Grand Southern Continental Tour!

From Porto, Portugal through Portugal, Spain, France, Switzerland, Italy and finally, Ithaki, Greece - I met up with many friends to share special times. Thanks to each and everyone of you for inviting me into your homes and sharing the love you have for me. The trip meant a great deal to me not only around my love of rail travel but simply for the opportunity to be with you.

Another final activity this year was my ultimate contribution to Durham University as a summer EAP tutor. In all, I taught five sessions since 2018 and this engagement could not have been a more rewarding opportunity to end my teaching career. Thank you to all my colleagues for making it so special!

This photo was my very first class in 2018 taken in front of Durham Cathedral.

My 'relationship' with the UK is also firmly entrenched in my friendship with Ken and Jude Matthews who live in Berkhamsted and Michael Harris and May Ireland who lived in London before moving to Truro, Cornwall. I taught with Jude at Beachwood Boys High in Durban in the 1980s and I taught with May at Auckland Girls Grammar in Auckland in 1997. I regard both groups as part of my own extended family.

Jude and Ken Matthews, Berkhamsted

May, Samuel and Michael Harris, Truro, Cornwall

You can follow and read about my GSCT here.

After my final teaching stint at Durham, I travelled to Canada, primarily to visit my youngest niece and her family who moved to Ontario about fove years ago. But I also wanted to visit Vancouver to catch up with colleagues I worked with in Saudi Arabia and Hong Kong.

Laura Haseley was responsible for designing the curriculum for SESP where I was the Head of English Year 1 in 2012/2013. The first photo was taken in Jazan with colleagues (Laura in the black abaya) and the second taken recently in Vancouver.

I was also privileged to visit Nicola Gram who I had previously taught with at CUHK in Hong Kong. She and her partner Dan Marchand now live in Comox on Vancouver Island. Living in a forest, their home is a haven of peace and serenity and I was so blessed to be able to spend four wonderful days with them. Thank you.

Before my Vancouver excursion, I took a 'side-trip' to Fort Lauderdale in Florida USA to visit Maxine Lemarr. It was Bruce Walsh who took me to see Maxine perform at The Cabin, Beverley Hills Hotel in Umhlanga, Durban in 1975 when we were both training to be teachers. Maxine had recently undergone several hip and leg operations and I was desperate to visit her and cheer her up. Luckily, by the time I got there she was beginning to walk with a stick - and she could drive - so we had a few 'gadabouts'.

Seminole Hard Rock Hotel & Casino Hollywood, FL the guitar always reminds me of Maxine!

Maxine and I visiting the entirely gay

suburb of Wilton Manors

But the original motivation for my trip to North America was to visit Kelly and Jacques, and their children Zoe (12 yo) and Colson ( 1 yo) in their home in Belle River, Ontario. I spent 2.5 weeks with them (across two visits) and what a splendid time we all had. They wanted to take me 'all over Canada' but I insisted we stay home and simply do little day activities. I wanted to spend as much time with them around their home.

They now own this lovely home on Broadway Street.

One of the tasks we had was to scatter some family ashes of Barry (my brother and Kelly's Dad) and those of my Mom).

We had some wonderful meals together inluding Thanksgiving and this gathering at the Texas BBQ restaurant. Jacques (Kelly's husband) is first left and his nephew is on the right.

I was able to indulge in my favourite hobby, trainspotting:

and my other hobby: baby-sitting

But all too soon I had to take my leave and return to NZ. I wish them everything of the best for their new home and homeland. 'Love you lank'.

Christmas Day was spent with Dianna and Denne (my landlady and landlord) and their extended family together with Derek and Andrew. Amidst delicious food and tempting desserts, a great time was had by all.

I declined all invitations to go out on New Year's Eve and decided to have a quiet night 'in'. I watched the Royal Variety Performance with host Bradley Walsh ( a fave of mine from The Chase UK) and heard the local fireworks at midnight.

And so ended 2023.

with Laura Haseley at Olympic Torch.jpeg

Kelly and Zoe sprinking Nora's ashes.jpeg