Aubrey
Welsh
In Memory of Mom
10/09/1927 - 08/12/2022
Early Life
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Norette Emily Hurst was born on 10 September 1927 to Sydney Percy Hurst and Violet Bowney Hurst (neé Clifford) in Durban, South Africa. She was the eldest of eight children: Allan, Clifford, Tilson, Aubrey, Roland, Gwen and Jackie. To the best of my knowledge, she was the last living member of her immediate family.
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She married Desmond Welsh (who in fact, was born Turner) on 17 January, 1948 and gave birth to four boys: Victor, Harold, Barry and Aubrey. Sadly, Harold was killed in a motorcycle accident in 1964 and I don't think my mother ever recovered from the loss of her second-born child. Victor also sadly passed after being involved in a road accident in 1998. My father, Desmond, passed away after a short illness in 2004 and my brother, Barry, succumbed to cancer in 2020. I am the only remaining member of this family unit after my mother passed away on 8 December 2022. A family grave site can be found at Stellawood Cemetery in Durban.
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Family Life
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Tilly (as she was known to many) had a challenging life: raising four boys must have been something of a nightmare, her marriage also became troublesome and it seems to me, in retrospect, that my father was not really 'cut out' to be one. But she did the best she could with the minimal resources she had at her disposal. By the time Desmond divorced her in 1972, she had lost Harold whilst Barry and Victor had both left home (although Barry did stay now and then). As I was still at high school,I lived with her in Cambar House in Berea Road, Durban (pictured right/below).
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Mom started working in the care industry employed in hospitals and in young people's detention centres. This took an enormous toll on her health and she eventually moved to in-store security at several of the larger department stores in central Durban including Game and The Hyperama. In her mid-fifties she underwent a quadruple by-pass. Apart from the successful surgery, the main by-product of her illness was that she gave up smoking!
Post-retirement
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When Mom retired, she was living in 37 Manhattan Court in central Durban and she loved her apartment. So much so that she claimed 'they would have to carry her out in a box'! During the early 1990s, I hocked myself into debt to buy the Manhattan apartment when it came up for sale and this was one of the best decisions I ever made on her behalf. She lived there for more than 30 years. It was her 'happy place'.
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From that home, she twice travelled to visit me in Hong Kong between 2004 and 2008. Mom had previously travelled to Spain, the Netherlands and the UK, but she fell in love with Hong Kong. I think it was the 'old' Hong Kong she loved, the little lanes and the little shops and, of course, the many markets scattered across the city.
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In 2001, and again in 2010, Mom travelled to visit me in New Zealand. She found the long flights very difficult (remember that she was in her 70s and 80s) but she nevertheless enjoyed visiting various places across the North Island. Sadly, that 2010 trip turned out to be her final overseas trip.
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The final years
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When it reached the stage when it was no longer safe for Mom to live on her own in Manhattan Court (and she refused to agree to have care coming in to help her), I made the decision to move her to Bill Buchanan Park where she could receive 24/7 care and support.
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Throughout her five years there, she was never entirely happy. The loss of her independence, the restrictions placed on residents, and even the food - were all a frustration for her. Although I know I made the 'right' decision, I have always felt much guilt about not making her final years, happy ones. I now believe strongly that our elderly should pass away in our family homes with family around us. I accept that society has opted for a different process and that the industry of 'elder care' is now embedded in our culture. I wish, though, it were not so.
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I miss you, Mom - every single day.
May you rest in eternal peace, dearest Mom 🥰 🤗
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